Challenged and inspired by the book - 'Carry The Spice' by Dr. Tan Lai Yong

Had the privilege of attending CMDF's meeting ( ABM actually!!) on Thursday with a dear friend - HL. Was my 1st time there and was a bit anxious as to how the meeting was like...am glad for company.....have been wanting to attend CMDF's event ever since I started working here....however, timing wasn't right...or it was so out of the way that I din know how to make my way there!! Sigh....the flesh is willing, but the spirit is weak.....

Anyway....it was a timely visit for me....have been feeling so disillusioned at work...discouraged at the state of affairs.....feeling somehow God has forgotten about me and the plans He had for me......to be in the midst of spiritual giants in the medical field and who have walked the road before me gave me comfort...hearing their testimonies....hearing an account of an ex-colleague who volunteered at the Healthserve clinic in Geylang stirred something in me.... the desire and passion I once used to have for the lost and poor and marginalized people.....something that had withered over the last few years in the midst of all the difficult work situations, lack of sleep, lack of passionate Christians around me, etc......

The talk by a Christian dentist -turned- pastor was also very timely - Rediscovering humility as Christian medical professsionals........a very good reminder of the pride of life in each of our hearts...when we feel that we a semi/ demi- gods because we hold the lives of our patients in our hands........we travel along a very thinline here....and it is easy to get sucked into this life and what it expects of us as professionals....and it is easy to become critical ... complaining... grumbling.... easily angered......temperamental.......

Lord, forgive me for my sins.....for my pride.... for the times when I lost my anger/ temper at others , not because I was upset with others, but just frustrated at myself...and my situations.....FORGIVE ME LORD!!! Truly, I live and work under Your GRACE and your grace alone!!!

Then, I picked up this book which I have been wanting to read for a while since it was published..... 'Carry The Spice' - which was written by Dr. Tan Lai Yong and documents the stories of singaporean doctors in medical missions and pastoral ministry....Very refreshing.....but more importantly, it was inspiring and encouraged by every word as I realised that most of these spiritual giants had to wait, some more than 10 years from the time of their calling to being sent out into the field......it made the last 3 years seem short in comparison .......it also affirmed what I already knew in my heart - that these are not wasted years/ time....but a very very vital time of training (spiritually , emotionally and professionally) and a season of moulding of my character to be more like Jesus.......Lord, teach me to be patient and to wait on You during this season of moulding!!




Then, at church today...we sang this song...which was very very apt....

OFFER YOU MY LIFE

Verse 1:
All that I have
All that I am
I lay them down before You , O Lord
All my regrets,
All my acclaim,
My joy and my pain
I'm making them Yours
* Chorus

Verse 2:
Things in the past
Things yet unseen
Wishes and dreams that are yet to come true
All of my hopes
All my plans
My joy and my pain
I'm making them Yours
*Chorus

Chorus:
Lord I offer my life to You
Everything I've been through
Use it for Your glory
Lord I offer my days to You
Lifting my praise to You
As a living sacrifice
Lord I offer You my life

Bridge:
What can I give,that You have not given?
What do I have that is not already Yours?
All we possess is this life we're living
And that's what we give to You , Lord