Was struck in the face by my landlady and her husband's comments last Thursday....it so happened I was on my way to cell group when they offered to give me a lift.....thought it was strange, but they were pretty chatty that day.....was rolling my eyes (in my head of course!) when they shared with me about a previous tenant who received Christ (through them of course?!?)..... I was like having all these cynical thoughts in my head.....and of course, I just politely laughed....
Then, they proceeded to make a statement of how grumpy i looked all the time.....and that I hardly smiled/ laughed, except when I am watching TV...... Boy, was I offended!!! I just kept quiet, but was truly seething inside......How dare they said that of me!!! Immediately went into 'defence' mode and started justifying myself in my mind with statements like - I am so tired by the time I come home that I just wanna chill out and just be myself....I'm so tired talking and smiling politely at people ALL day that I just wanna let my guard down at home, is that too much to ask?!? My house is supposed to be my sanctuary...you mean I can't sulk of just be quite/ mopey at my own house???? (Ok...mebbe I'm wrong...this is not my house nor my home....sigh)......
Can't wait to move out into my own sanctuary!!!
Lord, when will You give my my own sanctuary?!?
Anyway...have been reflecting about this...and feel that I may be a Christian...but I am not here to serve others a 'fake' smile......I can be there for them...but I also need my own space to be myself ( the sinful person that I am with tantrums/ tempers, etc)......Also realised how people can be so blind to their own faults when they point out others fault....indeed , this is why it is written in the Word about removing the plank in our own eyes before we remove a speck of dust in others eyes!!! How blind they are to their own shortcomings......so much for being in 'ministry' and wanting to 'bless' others and bring others to Christ when they 'oppress' and shortchange their own maid ( who incidentally also became a Christian here in their home).....Do they even reflect on their own actions instead of pointing out others' faults???
Anyway....Lord, I repent.... I repent for not representing You in Your joy and peace.....Teach me what it means to trust in You and to walk in Your JOY!! Yet at the same time, open the eyes of my landlords to their own shortcomings as well!! May they too learn to reflect on their own actions and repent of their hypocrisy before You!!
Heard this beautiful song by some Indonesian church workers whom my church is supporting in Riau Islands..... remembered this Indonesian website where you can listen to these Indonesian songs online....How beautiful these words are!! (Check it out at : http://kidung. com...
DIA MENGERTI
Pdt. Isaac Arief
Album Hujan Berkat
TERKADANG KITA MERASA
TAK ADA JALAN TERBUKA
TAK ADA LAGI WAKTU
TERLAMBAT SUDAH
TUHAN TAK PERNAH BERDUSTA
DIA S’LALU PEGANG JANJI-NYA
BAGI ORANG PERCAYA
MUJIZAT NYATA
REFF:
DIA MENGERTI, DIA PEDULI
PERSOALAN YANG SEDANG TERJADI
DIA MENGERTI, DIA PEDULI
PERSOALAN YANG KITA ALAMI
NAMUN SATU YANG DIA MINTA
AGAR KITA PERCAYA
SAMPAI MUJIZAT MENJADI NYATA
TUHAN MENGERTI
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