2018 came and went. Didn't know where all the time went. At the end of the year, I felt drained, frustrated and tired all the time. It wasn't all bad though.
Baby E has grown up to be the cutest girl I know ( of course, I am biased!). She is full of energy and life. Se is also very funny at times and comical at other times. She makes us do silly things but most of all, she makes me laugh with joy! Can't imagine what life would be without her. She's now more vocal and asking: 'Hey, what's that sound? Mama, what's that?'. All the time. Seeing her play with her cousins brings me such happiness but also at times some regret - that we don't live closer to our relatives so she could play with them everyday.
On the downside, work has been a complete bummer. Since moving on to be the clinical lead at another institution, I have just faced frustrations after frustrations. Well, no one said being a pioneer was easy, I guess. I think I was just more disappointed with my superiors who didn't care about what I did nor seem interested to grow the work where I am. Dissecting the situation to find out the root cause of my unhappiness, I guess it boils down to these few things:
a) Overworked
b) Lack of demonstration of leadership by my bosses ( i.e no overall planning of divisional expansion given that changes are inevitable in our field)
c) Superficiality ( the fact that my superiors pay 'lip service' to me only but do not deliver any practical help to my situation at work)
d) Unappreciated - need I say more?
e) Depression - it's hard not to end up depressed if you are overworked, suffer a working mother's guilt everyday, lack of exercise and being disconnected to God.
My saving grace in life would be my husband. He never fails to encourage me to do more and better myself. He never fails to remind me that all these work that we do is temporary and we should aim to do real work that matters. He never fails to plan holidays all year round because he recognised that I needed the break and time away from a toxic working environment. Thank God I have him!
Then, I chanced upon a self help book at my brother in law's home during our recent trip there.
That book has been totally life changing!
More on this in my next post.
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