Sabbath rest.....

Have been having a bad week at work....think it was the fatigue and tiredness of working non stop for the last 6- 7 months with no real breaks in between......whoa!!! Could really feel the toll on my soul.......being upset at the slightest things....depressed....unmotivated......etc

So, today's message in church by Ps. Lim was truly timely......and very in tune with what i spoke to with HL last week during coffee post-service.....

Message was taken from Deutronomy 5:12 - 15 and Mark 2: 27 - 28 regarding the Sabbath day as holy...... and how the reason the Sabbath is part of the 10 commandments is so that we will learn to rest in God and restore/ rejuvenate our spirit/ soul and body...... because without input from God, we have no productive output (sounds so 'me'.... sums up all the advice i have given in OCF throughout the years...)

1) Spirit and Structure
- Spirit (represented by water) and Structure (represented by the dam)
- Spirit (ie revival) without structure = wild fire, wasted energy
- Structure without spirit = organizational growth with no inner life
- Spirit WITH structure = POWER!!

2) Spirit and teaching
- Spirit without teaching = poor guidance and wrong teaching
- Teaching without Spirit = no power, head knowldege
- Spirit WITH teaching = Power, solid foundation and move in the gifts of the Spirit

3) Spirit and Busyness
- Busyness without spirit = burnout
- Spirit WITH prioritized life = open doors for opportunities to serve God

4) Spirit and flesh
- lifelong warfare
- overcome the flesh with the Spirit

5) Spirit and relationships
- if the Spirit does not grow, then the challenges of relationships overwhelm
- conflict in relationships can cause the Spirit to shrink
- Spirit and relationship grow = Deep maturity and strength

6) Spirit and spiritual gifts
- Spiritual gifts without the Spirit = PRIDE, manipulation, 'territorial spirit' , immorality
- if we move in the spiritual gifts under the guidance of the Holy Spirit = Power building the body of Christ

Hence, we need to grow in the Spirit to all growth in ALL areas....

WOW!!!

Was truly reminded of my conversation with HL the week prior...how I was lamenting the shape of our cell ... and the church as well....how, the training we've had in serving in OCF has helped us to grow in maturity and understanding of all these things ( amazing fact that pastors are only discovering these truth after so many years in ministry!!!).....and how frustrating it has been for me....and how disappointed I am in our cell/ church.....although I know fully well that there is no perfect church/ cell.......how superficial/ shallow I felt all these relationships were......Sigh!!!!

Was really considering taking a break from cell...to get away from it all....especially after the 'devastating news' frm HL....and 'you know who'......think I just need to go away for a while and surrender everything to God again.....

Was truly glad that jie came down this week.....spending time with her....sharing abt the 'devastating news' and what it means to me....and my previous 'bawled my eyes out' experience.... and my concerns that I will never meet the right guy...the fear of remaining single for the rest of my life....the tiredness I felt in this journey called 'life'.......am glad that she was there to just listen......

Am still trying to make sense of it all.......am really trying very hard......and although some days the tears just won't stop.....I know that He holds my future in His hands.....that He care......that He understands.........

For now, I can only SURRENDER!!