Now what?!?

Its been truly a long while since my last post....many things have happened.....some good, mostly bad stuff....
Had been holing myself up for the last few months trying very hard to study for my exam ( MRCP PACES), which proved really really challenging....stress levels were all time high....and even my study partner was getting on my nerves....din help that I din think I had enough practice....and all the while trying to be 'nice' to other people......and what do I get in return? Them passing and me not.....life's unfair....what can I do?
Nothing about it actually....I was in the midst of my medical mission trip at Nepal when I received my results at the end of the trip ( on the last day before we fly off from Kathmandu).......was I disappointed? of course! was it unexpected? probably not! anyway....There wasn't anything I could do about it.......
On the other hand, the medical mission trip was an eye-opener....we flew in to Kathmandu on the 18th of July...and then took an internal flight to nepalganj on Buddha air ( which was a bigger plan than the last one I took there!)....we drove a short distance and stayed at Candy's Place at the Travelling Village....



The hotel here was pretty good...each room had mosquito nettings and an attached bathroom. There was even air-conditioning!!! Which is a luxury in this part of the world!!! Dinner and breakfast was pretty good! I liked the waffles and the local food there very much!!! We learnt 3 different ways to cut a mango..... which is pretty interesting...you can either peel the skin and slice VS score the sides ( my usual way) VS cut in through the middle and twist VS squashing the mango and cut off the top and suck the juice....interesting!!!!

Ms R was a life saver with all her munchies and drinks to select from - milo, espresscino, the tarik and horlicks......plus her chocolates, biscuits, bak kwa and fish flosses!!! Plus all the munchies that we bought in Bangkok Airport!! ( The tomyam crisps were a hit!).

Anyhow, we then had to drive approx 2.5 hrs to Chhinchu ( which is in the Surhet District). I was actually rather appalled at the 'hotel' that we arrived at... I was thinking - You mean this is it?!? Its was rather small and rundown hotel owned by a couple from the Dhaulagiri region.....which only had cement floors and walls...basic beds with very thin mattresses and very basic showers and toilets.....It was pretty bad as the electricity and water got cut off on our 2nd day there...



We saw many many patients ( total of 2240 patients!) over 3 days worth of camp...mainly women's health and PID/UTI....UV prolapses topped the list.....we also saw quite varied congenital conditions due to poor antenatal care...that said, some patients were well off enough to be seen in a large hospital and brought their ultrasounds/ CT scans and MRI scans for us to review....



It was the monsoon season and it rained for 2 days and 2 nights that we were there.....thank God we din get caught in a mudslide/ landslide ( we did past by a few areas that had a mudslide on our way back)!!! So really really thank God for keeping us safe!

Finally was so happy to pack up on the last day of the camp and drove back to Candy's place where we stayed 1 night before flying back to kathmandu. Back at Kathmandu, we just chilled out and ate lots of food ( Northfield Cafe, Fire and Ice and Roadhouse Cafe) and visited the House of Dreams ( a.k.a Garden of Dreams) which was next to the palace......plus the rest bought lots of book from the Nepal Book Depot........

And yes, whilst we were tired, all of us were just thankful to be back in Singapore.....

There's another story to tell after this article....stay tuned

Your Grace Is Enough by Chris Tomlin

Great is Your faithfulness oh God
You wrestle with the sinner's heart
You lead us by still waters in to mercy
And nothing can keep us apart

So remember Your people
Remember Your children
Remember Your promise
Oh God

Your grace is enough
Your grace is enough
Your grace is enough for me

Great is Your love and justice God
You use the weak to lead the strong
You lead us in the song of Your salvation
And all Your people sing along

So remember Your people
Remember Your children
Remember Your promise
Oh God

Your grace is enough
Your grace is enough
Your grace is enough for me [x2]

So remember Your people
Remember Your children
Remember Your promise
Oh God

Your grace is enough
Your grace is enough
Your grace is enough for me

Your grace is enough
Heaven reaching down to us
Your grace is enough for me
God I see your grace is enough
I'm covered in your love
Your grace is enough for me
For me

This is my current favourite worship song in church!!!

Is There Life After No? ( Part 2 - 4)

This article actually comes in a 4 part series....
The 2nd installment....

Based on some of the comments and emails I received after posting about the year God told us nothing but “no” there are folks out there who wonder how the story ended. Well, it ended here


This is Owosso, Michigan. Unlikeliest of destinations. Corn fields as far as the eye can see and enough farm equipment that my son would soon be able to identify the difference between a “tractor” and a “combine.” Owosso opened its arms to us and I crawled in, lay down and died a little.

The loss of homeland and family felt like a physical wound. I bled; I cried. And for months after the move I felt disorientated and disconnected. I did not sense God in it at all. I walked forward in blind faith, stumbling over myself and my regret.

That was one of the most difficult parts of the process. Before we left South Africa, many well meaning Christians around us had constantly implied that if we just had enough faith it would all work out as we prayed it would. It made me start to ask the hard questions.

But what if it doesn’t work out?
What does that say about how God loves me compared to how God loves you (you who seemingly have your heart’s desire).
And after months of pleading prayer that yielded zero results, it was a bitter pill to hear others casually say, “Oh, well, we should just pray for you then.” As if their prayers carried more weight than ours. As if they had God’s ear and we did not.

It took a long, long time (and much wailing and gnashing of teeth) to pack it in and quit my homeland. Because no amount of prayer – by us or others – ended in the answer we were hoping for.

So, we said good-bye.



We watched as my little brother barreled through security at the airport to give my son one last, desperate hug.

We traveled 28 hours.

And we arrived in Owosso, Michigan.

That’s where I thought the story ended. But, you know already that was – instead – a surprise beginning. And I’m enjoying unpacking it with you all.

But, much like the slow and steady process of making chaos out of of a suitcase that is busting at the seams, it is better done in stages.

So, please come back tomorrow. I hope to unpack a few more pieces with you then.

Part 3:

I’ve been digging through some of my old baggage – sharing pieces of the year God told us a whole lot of “no” and not much else. My hope is that it might encourage you if you find yourself stuck in a place where your prayers seem to be bouncing off the walls. If you want to start from the beginning you can read part 1 here and part 2 here.

After a year and a half in my homeland of South Africa our plans to settle in permanently under the purple boughs of the jacarandas were painfully uprooted. No one was hiring an international and if I’ve learned one thing, it’s that a man needs to work. So I blindly promised my husband that wherever he found a job, we would move.

Turns out that job was in Michigan.

It could not have been more different. Or more perfect a place to recover. Psalm 23 took on literal meaning for me. Out of the desert of God’s silence and our desperation He led us now into green pastures



beside quiet waters

and the Spirit begin the gentle process of restoring our souls.


We couldn’t afford a house or much of a rental either, but family friends had a home they couldn’t sell and were prepared to rent to us for a fraction of its worth in exchange for us being prepared to move out at a moment’s notice if it sold. It was deep in farm country and would have stood vacant if we hadn’t arrived when we did.

Pete’s aunt and uncle lived just around the corner and absorbed us into hearth and home. And slowly we started to find our feet and take tentative steps forward again.

And I discovered that at the heart of my misery – beyond the homesickness and sense of failure – had been a misunderstanding about faith. I had confused faith in God with faith in what God could do for me. I had been viewing God like a mystical vending machine; I inserted my prayers, pulled the handle and expected the desire of my heart to pop out the bottom slot.

Boy, was I deceived.

I have since come to believe that God is not nearly as interested in our happiness as He is in our holiness. What makes me happy is not necessarily what draws me closer to the God who knows my every nook and cranny. And He loves me enough to say, “no” when – as every parent understands – saying “yes” would have been so much simpler.

That doesn’t mean I don’t still ache for home and the could’ve beens if things had worked out there. It just means that I truly understand in a way I never had before, that His will is for His best, which in turn is for my best. Because He is the God of fresh beginnings and beautiful restoration. And I have the baby to prove it.

More on that tomorrow!


Part 4: Alternately titled, “Joy comes in the morning”

After nearly a year in Michigan we traveled home to South Africa for a visit. We were nervous about how it would go. There was still lingering post traumatic stress from our roller coaster lows while living there. You can read about them in part 1, part 2 and part 3 of the story. But we had a secret. It warmed us from the inside and carried us boldly forward.

I was pregnant.

And with each roll of this baby’s new body, each tap of his tiny feet on my belly I felt God’s Spirit whispering comfort and the fulfillment of promise in my heart. A Michigan baby headed to South Africa for the first time. The trip exceeded all our expectations. It was chock-a-block full of understanding and friendship and family ties tight and strong.

Like fresh rain it washed away the dirt and exhaustion of the last time we had been home. And we were left with clean memories. Ready for the imprint of moments like this.



That’s my dad doing the sonogram. He’s the doctor that got the first pictures of Micah’s, um, manhood. The thought of another boy had us all whooping with glee. But a name, we didn’t have a name for a long time.

After three weeks of pap ‘n wors, koesisters, rooibos tea, and oodles of family we left. Again. And this time it only hurt in the good way. The heart so full of faces and places and grins that it wants to explode with a happy bang kind of way. Instead it pounds away in the chest keeping up a stomping rhythm of remembered, relived joy.

On take off, something else stomped. A small foot added its own gumboot beat to the ride. And a name, his name, flashed across my mind.

Micah.

We knew no one by that name. We knew very little about the book. Micah was a minor prophet and his letter included in the Bible is just a few short chapters long.

Micah.

When we got home we looked it up and started to read. And over the echoes of the past two years of “no” God spoke to us in new ways using the ancient words of a prophet to explain where we had come from and where we were going:

Therefore I will look unto the Lord;
I will wait for the God of my salvation:
my God will hear me.
Rejoice not against me, O mine enemy:
when I fall, I shall arise; when I sit in darkness,
the LORD shall be a light unto me.
I will bear the indignation of the Lord
because I have sinned against him,
until he plead my cause, and execute judgment for me:
he will bring me forth to the light,
and I shall behold his righteousness.

Micah 7:7-9.

Even now I can’t read those verses without my eyes blurring.

He knew all along what he was doing. Even in the darkest moments, there was a night light burning. And joy, such bright, beautiful joy came in the morning.

Two days after Christmas morning.

Micah.



How wonderful is our God!!!

Is There Life After No?

Found This article on the Day spring mail....

When we were living in Ukraine, someone once told me, “You know how we can tell if someone’s American? They’re the ones smiling for no reason.”


Wrap your head around that one.


I heard it five years ago and it’s still a brain teaser for me. In person and over a cup of tea, I could spend hours dissecting the cultural differences it alludes to. But, of late, it’s been the Christian culture I’ve been thinking about more than any other. And how that statement might apply to us all.


“You know how we can tell if someone’s a Christian? They’re the ones smiling and smiling and smiling. Sometimes for no good reason.”


For two years after our time in Ukraine we were anything but fine. After a decade away we had moved back to South Africa with high hopes for relocating back to my motherland. Those plans were eroded; slowly, painfully, and unexpectedly. Not a single step of our homecoming unfolded as we had so blithely assumed it would.


But, by all appearances we were fine. And if anyone asked, that’s what we told them.


I smiled at church. I smiled at playgroup. I smiled at bible study. And I smiled at kids’ birthday parties. I smiled for no good reason I could think of. Other than that I was sure no one expected me to respond to their generic, “So, how’re you doing?” with a bust gut of agony and bloody tears right there in the meet and greet between the worship and the sermon.


How awkward would that be?


“Snot en trane” – the spot-on Afrikaans expression “snot and tears” – is not generally the appropriate response to a pre-service handshake.


So instead I plastered a stubborn smile, band aid-like, over my bleeding innards and got really good at making small talk and deflecting anything that might try to peel back a corner of the tape.

But 18 months later things were worse. And for the first time I was faced with a “no” answer from God that I couldn’t seem to change or understand.

No, your husband won’t get the job he needs.


No, you won’t be able to stay in South Africa.


No, you don’t get to choose where you go next.


I realized I had been expecting the easy “yes” of what I now recognize as Christianity-lite. I thought if I could grin and bear it long enough, things would finally go my way. I know you’ve heard it too. The fluffy take on some pretty serious verses that try to tell you, “All you need is faith” and you’ll get what you want. “Just believe and the Lord will provide.” “Ask and you shall receive.”


So, this profound and resounding “no” was off my grid by a mile.


Things were not fine. Things were not good. Things hurt inside and out. We had to pack up our house and our new baby boy and move away from the family and country we were just rediscovering. The loss was physically painful.


I wrestled a long time with this new God of my “no.” But slowly I discovered that His answer didn’t dismiss my loss. Not if I saw it in the context of His ability to understand and respond to that loss.


Do you know the Bible story of the infertile woman whom God blessed with a child? The prophet Elisha had prayed for her. But before the boy was grown up, he died. And his desperate mother went looking for an answer. Listen to what she says when the prophet asks her that hardest of questions, “How’re you doing?”


“'Is it well with you? Is it well with your husband? Is it well with the child?'" And she answered, "It is well." 2 Kings 4:26.


She was far from fine. But she took that agony to the only person who could understand it. And at the feet of the God she could share her agony and outrage with, she was well. She was able to be real. Her answer didn’t dismiss her loss. It simply put it in the context of God’s ability to respond.


That is where He met me. At the cross-roads of his decision and my acceptance of it; he led me out of my heartache and into a season of redemption and beauty. All without changing his answer.




Instead he changed me.

(You can keep reading my story of change and the year God told us a whole lot of "no" over here).


by Lisa-Jo

Latest favourite worship song!

At The Cross

Verse 1
Oh Lord You've searched me
You know my ways
Even when I fail You
I know You love me

Your holy presence
Surrounding me
In every season
I know You love me
I know You love me

Chorus
At the cross I bow my knee
Where Your blood was shed for me
There's no greater love than this
You have overcome the grave
Your Glory fills the highest place
What can separate me now?

You go before me
You shield my way
Your hand upholds me
I know You love me
Chorus
At the cross I bow my knee
Where Your blood was shed for me
There's no greater love than this
You have overcome the grave
Your Glory fills the highest place
What can separate me now (x5)

You tore the veil
You made a way
When You said that it is done (x5)

And when the earth fades
falls from my eyes
You stand before me
I know You love me
I know You love me

Chorus
At the cross I bow my knee
Where Your blood was shed for me
There's no greater love than this
You have overcome the grave
Glory fills the highest place
What can separate me now (x2)


You tore the veil
You made a way
When You said that it is done (x4)

Spiritual Work - by Rev. Dr. Tan Soo Inn,Chaplain, CMDF Singapore

Another excellent and uplifting piece from Rev Dr Tan Soo Inn....

Saturday (May 1st) was a particularly hectic day. I had to preach at a Saturday Evening service then rush off to a Christian Medical Dental Fellowship gathering for new medical house officers. It helped that there was a common theme for both meetings --- to see all legitimate work we do for God as spiritual work. In the evening service I preached on the salt and light mandate (Matthew 5: 13-16), how we serve God’s purposes in the world by bringing Kingdom values into all we do. I challenged the church to resist any unbiblical attempt to divide life into spiritual and secular compartments and to give spiritual significance only to stuff we do in church or in church related enterprises. John Stott defined work as “the expenditure of energy (manual or mental or both) in the service of others, which brings fulfillment to the worker, benefit to the community, and glory to God.” I told the church that God is in the business of saving people from sin but He is doing more than that, much more. He is also in the business of maintaining and blessing His creation, and for that He needs all sorts of people doing all sorts of work in the world.

I wanted the house officers to know that practicing medicine is also spiritual work. I knew that they were about to face a very demanding year where they will have about two real off days a month and will not be able to participate in their usual meetings in church. Some churches are aware of the special circumstances of the life of a house officer but many are not. I asked the house officers to be prepared that church leaders may question their commitment to the church and to serving God. I also said that we also serve when we prepare. Their houseman year was going to be a hothouse experience in their journey to become the doctors that God wanted them to be. As long as the medical internship programme is set up the way it is, all newly graduated doctors will have to undergo the highly demanding houseman year. They should not let those who do not understand the preparation journey of a doctor, make them feel guilty.

I emphasized that their medical work was also spiritual work, no less important in God’s eyes then the stuff they do in church. I am not implying that church related work is any less important. Indeed after they finished their houseman year, and they get back more discretionary time, they could return to more regular levels of church involvement. But I wanted them to learn early that the practice of medicine is also spiritual work and that doctors are key agents in God’s healing purposes. Indeed, when they practice medicine with skill and compassion, they touch lives in a way that fleshes out the gospel. And when the time comes to verbalize the gospel, people would have already seen glimpses of the reality and the character of Christ in the interactions they had had with their doctors.

Medicine is a special calling. It enables those who practice it to impact people in a way few other professions can. And a good houseman year is a key part of the journey to be a good doctor. There will be many challenges. Indeed there will be challenges after their houseman year is over and beyond. This is the reality of serving the Lord in a fallen world. But if medicine is spiritual work, there are two implications. One, we are to try to practice medicine with Kingdom values. Two, we can depend on the Lord to provide us with the grace we need.

Indeed, I want to be able to practice medicine with Kingdom values....

Weddings..

Almost forgot about a wedding that I'm supposed to attend in 2 weeks' time.....finally found some time to buy a traditional Punjabi suit for the occasion.....had a fun time looking for a nice one....actually 2 pieces...one for the wedding and one for the salmeet... hahaha...
Anyway..found a perfect wedding card for them....a very meaningful one....

HOW TO MAKE A BEAUTIFUL LIFE TOGETHER
-Reflections on Marriage for the Bride and Groom

Let love be your shelter.
The world is noicy and confusing at times,
so make a home that is a haven,
a peaceful place where you can listen to your hearts
and savor the comfortable closeness you share.

No matter how busy your days may be,
make time for yourselves.
Hold hands.
Unwind.
Surprise each other.
Find little chances every day to show you're grateful to be partners,
to be friends, to be married.

Life is not perfect.
You will make mistakes,
but each time you meet life's challenges together,
you will grow wiser , stronger, and surer of your love.

Cherish your yesterdays.
They are irreplacable souvenirs of your journey through life.
Make memories that will bring smiles and sighs
Whenever you look back ( Look back often!)

Look forward, too.
Dream together.
Plan together.
Make promises to keep.
Believe in your tomorrows, because tomorrows are what forever is made of.

To make love last,
put each other first.
That is the way to make a beautiful life together,
the kind of life you both deserve so much.

Congratulations!

...wow!! so profound! so appropriate!!