Was just reading through my last entry in this blog....and felt truly ashamed of myself......how we oscillate as humans! how inconsistent we can be?!?
Whilst I wanted to be Christ-like last week....this week I just felt the opposite.....could feel the mean streak coming out.....the same friend that I wanted to share the Gospel with just kept irritating me...not just with her whinings...but her complains and judgment of others........to the point that she asked some colleagues who were away on a course to come back in the evening to help her out! I was shocked...to say the least.....
Questions that kept popping into my mind were:
a) Why did she not approach me if she needed help? Was I so unapproachable?
b) Why did the others agree to it? - granted, those colleagues were Christians too....
c) What's wrong with this person?!?
The list goes on....and slowly the thoughts became ' why should I help her? she didn't help me when I needed help?!?"......and as you can see...they slowly degenerated to selfish and self-justifying thoughts.....appalling!!
Lord, I ask for Your forgiveness. When i choose to rebel and walk against Your principles. When I choose to live according to my own terms. When i choose to disobey Your commands. I am sorry Lord and I repent of my hard-heartedness and disobedience.
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