A New Year......means New Opportunities?!?

Its been an interesting few days into the new year........
For one , I've made 7 new year resolutions that I hope I can achieve by the end of the year.....
For another, I've made it 4 days into the new year without any contact with Mr. X....which in my opinion, is a good thing coz I see him at work 24/7...excluding being on call together!!!!
Well, I was rather surprised when one of my bossess invited me to his house for dinner on the 1st day of 2011.....and he tried to do it rather discreetly....but he also invited the acute medicine team registrars as well.....I was a 'dungu' because I did not realise that I was the only person invited apart from the registrars! And then it was only much later that I realised that not everyone was invited......I think because I was so dense at that, he ended up having to invite Mr X as well, and I could sense a relief over him when Mr X said that he could not attend coz his family was in town.......thought that something fishy was going on...but din entertain that thought too much!
So when 1st Jan arrived, I decided to go for the dinner with another registrar, Mdm T and her daughter. The other 2 registrars could not make it. So we went together....and when we arrived, some medical students were already there. I saw another guy, lets call him Mr Y, whom I have not met before, and he was introduced as a respiratory registrar in another hospital. I was like, okay.....strange that my boss would have invited someone from another hospital, but I did not think too much about it!
However, I was rather uncomfortable that this Mr Y was sitting very close to me after dinner...we chatted briefly over dinner...then I went to sit on the steps to watch the kids play...and he came and set next to me...but not talking much! After that, when I moved to the sofa, he sat next to me as well!!! He was sitting rather too close for my personal space....but I did not want to sound rude and step away...so I just pretended that I din notice it!
When we got up to leave about 9pm....he got up and came as well! He even hitched a ride from one of my consultants car, although he never met this guy before!!! Even stranger.....
I was thinking about it the entire night....and decided that my boss was trying to matchmake me with this guy....but it was really just my conjecture at this point.....until, Monday arrived.....and Mdm T came by the ward and said, Can I ask you a direct question?....the exchange went as follows:

Mdm T: Can I ask you a direct question?
Me : Huh? What do you mean?
Mdm T: *Giggles* Oh, Mr N ( our boss) wanted me to ask you in a roundabout way, about
what you thought of Mr Y at the dinner yesterday?!?
Me : Huh?
Mdm T: Okaylah, I be frank, Mr N is trying to set you up with Mr Y. So he wanted me
to find out what you felt about this fellow!
Me : *Almost faint* Hahaha....oh ok.....(just I suspected!).....He's okay...we din
talk much...but he seems decent. A bit quiet, but mebbe coz he doesn't know
me enough.....I am rather open to any help! Hahaha.....
Mdm T: Hmm....ok......I think he's a good catch!!!

At this point, I was feeling rather incredulous! What was my boss thinking?!? Should I get angry, that he thought I needed his help in my love life; or should I be grateful for him being kind and wanting me to be happily married?!? ...I dunno.....its rather strange....especially when I see myself as a rather private person who does not talk about these things with others easily, especially when my boss is from the opposite gender!!!!

Anyway, we shall see what happens...am still waiting for a text/ phone call from Mr Y....if he is interested...and I'm praying that he is a Christian already......who know, God's ways are higher than mine! ;)

A New Year demands new resolutions!!!!

Welcome 2011!!!!! Its the 1st day of a new year........and so, I have decided to pen some thoughts on what the resolutions should be this year.......

So, resolutions so far-

1) Spend more time with God and His word - have kinda neglected this aspect of my life for a while now......mainly coz of work and early starts....mainly because I was so zonked out with the thyroid thingy....so yes, will definitely need to dig deep and drink freely from the fountain of life this year!!!!

2) Spend more time with my family- my parents, my brother, my sister and her family....my grandparents.......always so little time.....always....but that is never a good excuse!

3) Work/ Study - time to buckle up and start 'studying' for my haematology training.....but first of all, I need to fill up my log book and ace the interview!!! Have been procrastinating for the loooongest time!!!!

4) Health - being diagnosed with Grave's Disease has been tough...I hate taking pills....and I always forget!!! yes, I know, I know.....I am the world's worst patient!!!! But I will try.....and take care of myself more this year - which means health eating, good sleep hygiened, REGULAR EXERCISE ( I know, I know!).......

5) Friendships/ Relationships - looking forward to forging new friendships, strengthening the pre-existing ones....mebbe mend old friendship gone sour......mebbe.....and then of course the all consuming and perennial question of my 'love life'.......I think this single status has always bugged me.....more than I care to admit....but I also know how scared I am to be in any relationship....so for this year, I am going to hand the reins to God, sit back and enjoy the ride...and have decided to love the best I can , whoever God provides and sets in my path.......of course, that does not mean throwing my caution into the wind....its just means being open to people and not being overly judgmental at the 1st impression.....

6) Finance - have to definitely learn to be a good steward of my finances this year.....been spending wayyy too much money.....so will need to learn more constraints this year and to tighten the belt a little........also have pledged to contribute a sum to YX's education here....so hopefully I will be able to repay what my parents have given me!

7) Missions - definitely will have to get on another medical missions trip this year...so Lord, I pray for oppportunities and grace to get my leave approved......in Your time, and in Your will!!!!

Guess 7 resolutions is a good and perfect start for a new year.......

Here's wishing everyone a good and happy new 2011!!!! God bless!!!!

Happy New Year! Welcome 2011!!!

Wow! What a year it has been! All the ups and downs!! Bittersweet moments - was just reflecting on this word 'bittersweet'.....wondered why it was bitter , and then sweet rather than sweet and then bitter???? Why not call it sweetbitter? Why call it bittersweet???

Guess it was not just a play of words, it was in fact, a very apt description of life - at least for me, this word sums up the whole entire 2010!

Bitter in many areas of my life.....but tinged with the sweetness in the most improbable places at the most ridiculous times! But sweet nevertheless..... would have countless stories to tell, but it would have been recorded along the way on this blog......you could just flip the whole entire collection and come to the same conjecture as me!!!!

Since 2010 has passed, and my resolution for 2010 was for overflowing joy.....I guess in a way it was fulfilled.......not without hard work...not without brokenness....not without God! Joy can only come when you truly allow Him to work in your life.....and I am glad that I did.....mebbe not total submission, but submission and obedience nevertheless.....with pockets of rebellion here and there! ;P

Work has gone pretty smooth sailing...nothing major this year...except 1 or 2 incidents.....studies/ exams has been a major struggle this year, but I made it with God's help and mercy! ...friendships went through a pretty rough patch...but most remained intact, except for that 1 infamous one of course!!!! ....financially - tight this year, but I made it somehow by God's grace.....family - managed to spend more time with my brother this year ( unfortunately this did not extend to the rest of the extended family/ nuclear family)......a home I can call my own - the greatest privelege to date.........church - still the same, CG-less....but now a new member of AH CF!!!....relationships - still stuck in 1st gear ( shucks, don't think I ever made it to 2nd gear!!!!).....

So yeah - 2010 in a nutshell!!!

So what's in store for 2011????

Am not sure....have been too tired these days to think/ pray about it....I blame it on the thyroid problem ...and those darn anti-thyroid pills I have to take....just messes up with the energy levels ( as one friends aptly puts it)........but I know what I want/ need for 2011 - more love, more power , more of You, O Lord in my life! More grace and more mercy....both for myself and also to others around me......more patience with people - be they my juniors/ seniors/ patients/ relatives/ etc etc......more energy and more drive at work - to excel in all that I do/ work at, for the glory of God.....and last but not least, a good church and a great cell group......PLUS of course- an EQUALLY YOKED relationship....... ;)

So here's wishing everyone a very blessed and meaningful 2011!!!! God Bless!!!

Christmas madness!!!

Whew! One down - 3 more to go!!! social events, I mean......
Just organised a steamboat party at my place on the 19th of Dec.....was truly a mad mad rush...finished my night float on Saturday morning...started shopping for ingredients.....woke up at 0700 hours on Sunday to get fresh seafood from West Coast Market...then it was zipping here and there to find a steamboat pot and collect my Christmas log cake from TCC @ Anchorpoint!!!!
Then, had to dash back home to start cooking the stock for the steamboat and cut, wash and prepare all the ingredients........
Finally, all that was left to do was to wait for the guests to come....I was a bit disappointed though....some people either didn't get back to me or promised to come and then just 'fong fei gei' at the last minute....and even those who came, were pretty lukewarm in their response and was just happy to stone in front of my TV watching ' Yes Man'!!!! Talk about being antisocial.....
The worst part - they came, they ate, they left......no one even bothered to offer to help clean up after everything!!! I was indignant to say the least! Hmmph!!! This will be the first and last time I invited anyone to my place for dinner......people from work I mean.......ungrateful bunch of people who always take me for granted!!!!
And then the whole night I was thinking about Mr X who didn't come....was a bit disappointed initially but then realised it was because he wanted to spend time with his sisters who came from overseas...valid reason I guess...then started dreaming about all sorts of weird and impossible stuff....
I still can't quite get my head, or rather my heart around the fact that he is a self- professed atheist....I just can't....but I guess it's not hard to imagine since my own dad is one himself!!!! It was just difficult to accept......and then today I had a little jostle of words with this atheist - I guess he was just upset with Christians at work who made a huge fuss about being on call on Christmas....and was saying that our religion does not call us to not work on festive seasons....and I agreed with him....its not a big deal to work on Christmas....our faith does not depend on celebrating these festivities anyway....but I am sure some Christians will stare at me like I am crazy!!! hahaha....plus he did mention that surely no religion will state that we should not heal on a festival day....which I also agree!!! He should read the Bible and realise how radical Jesus was as a religious person!!! ;)
Anyway, whether Mr X acknowledges it or now....he does hold many values as those that Jesus exhorts us to do....so mebbe, just mebbe, he isn't that far off from embracing the truth and the light!!!

Shocked and disappointed......

He said, ' Aiyah! Why you so religious wan?!? No need to be so religious wan! I'm an atheist! '

Me: ' Huh?!? We are just going for dinner and a lil acapella concert after that! How is that 'religious'???? We just like to hang out with each other....'

That was the conversation I had with Mr X today. He was a guy that I had coffees with the entire of last month .....and also that late dinner one friday night...which lasted into the wee hours of the morning!!!!

I fancied him - to say the least. And 2 of my close buddies have kinda approved after seeing his picture on FB. But.....these friends aren't Christian....so I always take their advice/ approval with a pince of salt....I dun really expect them to understand the whole 'unequally yoked' business anyway.....Help me!

But today's confrontation was a bit of a shock....unexpected and disappointing....I had expected him to respect my religion...to support me....but instead of that, he ridiculed it....and exalted his position of being atheist......Why?!?

I really wanted to say to him :

- You don't know what you are missing in life
- You just don't get it do you?
- What's the point of wanting to do volunteer work with Unicef/ MSF/ etc if whatever that you do doesn't have a lasting impact after you leave???

Just because I don't share his atheist view...just because I did not want to spend time with his friends....just because of all these small lil' things, he ridiculed my faith......I was angry....fuming mad actually......but what can I do???

I can only pray that he will open his heart to Jesus...that the Holy Spirit will do a work in his life that no human being can....that the Holy Spirit will open his spiritual eyes to see his own humane-ness, lostness and blindness.....and that someday, he will accept Jesus as his own personal Lord and saviour.......

Until then, I have decided to stay away from him for a while.....to take a breather and re-evaluate my life and re-examine my heart....to understand why the Bible says -Do not be unequally yoked! .... and to ask the Holy Spirit to guard my heart and mind always......

Lord, I need You to give me the strength to walk away...the faith to trust You for the best life partner that you have prepared for me....and the peace that this will come to pass in Your time, not mine.....

The Recipe for Peace

The Recipe for Peace
How God can provide calm when busyness and stress threaten to take over
Teresa Turner Vining


My husband and I had just returned home from a hectic shopping trip. As Erik pulled into the driveway, switching off the engine, we were suddenly surrounded by the silence of the night. We sat in the darkness, reluctant to give up the first quiet moment we'd experienced that entire day. I sighed, tired from the day's activities and the thoughts of the responsibilities tomorrow already held.

A question formed on my lips, but I hesitated to speak it aloud. It was a question that had been increasingly occupying my mind, but it didn't seem like one a "good" Christian should ask.

"Where's the peace?" I finally whispered. Erik glanced quizzically in my direction. "I mean, is this all there is to the Christian life?" I continued. "Doesn't the Bible promise something about 'peace that transcends all understanding?'" Erik didn't reply.

This question continued to haunt me long after that evening. Worn down by each day's responsibilities and worries, I longed to be enveloped in the "peace of God"—that deep serenity of soul where calm and joy grow. But I had to admit, in the many years I'd been a Christian, I couldn't say that peace had characterized my life. Was this "peace" the Bible spoke of just some cold, distant theological doctrine, or something I could actually experience now?

Several days later, I read Philippians 4:4-7. I was surprised to notice for the first time that this passage that speaks of the "peace of God" also states clearly how to obtain it: "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. … Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" (italics added).

While I was familiar with these concepts, I had to be honest—I wasn't actually practicing them. Did I really rejoice in the Lord always? Was my life characterized by gentleness? What about being anxious? Wasn't I the one who lay awake at night worrying about how I was going to get everything done the next day? Was it really possible for a person to live as the Scripture described? Since my heart longed for peace, I decided to test this "recipe" to see what would happen.

During the next few weeks, I was amazed at the impact those verses had on my life. As I tried to obey the commands of Philippians 4, I experienced a calm that transformed my perspective and gave me new vitality. To help remember these steps to peace, I created the acronym TLC.

T—Thank God in everything.
"Rejoicing always" means being grateful to God—no matter what. We must choose to believe God's good, and choose to rejoice in that goodness.

When I began attempting this, the best I could muster was remembering to at least be thankful for the "good" things. I started building a habit of saying two-second "thanks prayers" throughout the day. "Thanks for the cool breeze." "Thanks for that encouraging call from a friend." As I practiced this, I began to see more for which to be thankful.

This finally led to my being able to give thanks for those difficult things in my life—something I hadn't been able to do before. That forced me to acknowledge that no matter how bad things look, God would work all things together for good just as he promises (Romans 8:28).

I remember one night in particular, when God gave me an opportunity to test thanking him in all things. I was facing an impossible work deadline, and home responsibilities kept piling up. Every night I crawled into bed exhausted, trying to figure out how to squeeze just a little more into each day.

At 2 a.m., I heard my 10-month-old son's cry. When Zephan awoke in the night, it always meant the same thing—another ear infection. "No!" I protested. "This can't happen—not now."

I felt guilty for selfishly thinking of how this inconvenienced me, when I should have been thinking of my son. But that didn't change the facts: Zephan wouldn't be able to go to the babysitter's for the rest of the week. I might as well kiss good-bye the thought of sleeping for the next several nights. I had no idea how I'd get my project done.

Rocking Zephan in his room, I felt my emotions rage. How could this happen? Didn't God realize this was the absolute worst time? Then I remembered the thanksgiving command. It took me some time to find the words, but as I stroked Zephan's feverish face and consciously decided to be thankful for being able to care for him, the room around me seemed to become a sanctuary. I felt the comforting presence of God's peace allowing me to actually savor this moment.

L—Love those around you.
The second command in Philippians 4 is to "let your gentleness be evident to all." When I first read this, I wondered, What does this have to do with personal peace? But when I attempted this step, I was surprised by its power.

Concentrating on showing gentleness to those with whom I came into contact cast my life in a new light. It took my focus from myself and put it on others. And it kept me relying on God, because loving responses invariably didn't come naturally—especially when I was running late with a hungry one year old who was trying to eat through the yo-gurt containers in my shopping cart, while the slowest clerk in history made mistake after mistake in ringing up the groceries. Let your gentleness be evident to all. … Let your gentleness be evident …

One day my sister and I had an argument, and I felt certain I was right. However, even as I silently rehearsed a sharp rebuttal, God reminded me of this principle. How can I show gentleness in this situation? I wondered. The answer to this question totally changed my response to her and brought an inner peace that was now becoming more familiar to me.

Allowing God's love to flow through us gives us joy and purpose despite our circumstances. And these first two steps work together. When we get the first step down—having an attitude of thankfulness—it's much easier for us to react to others in love.

C—Commit worries to God.
We've all heard we shouldn't worry. Often my silent response to this concept is something similar to a teenager's remark, Yeah, right! Worrying seems to come as naturally to the human race as getting the hiccups—and about as difficult to cure.

But, fortunately, God's Word doesn't just tell us not to worry. It gives us practical instruction on how not to worry. "Do not be anxious about anything," it says, "but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."

I found I struggled with just deciding not to worry. But at least I could decide to pray—especially when this verse tells me exactly how—with thanksgiving.

When I was pregnant with Zephan, my physician told us our baby might have a mentally debilitating disease. Although he assured us this was just a possibility, I was heartsick. All my dreams for my child's future seemed to hang in jeopardy, and I had trouble concentrating on anything else. But I needed to commit this worry to God.

Doing that, I found, was a process, not a quick fix. But as I progressed in the process, true to God's Word, I felt an un-explainable peace. I wasn't sure God would spare our baby, but I became increasingly convinced that even if he didn't, he'd use the circumstance for good. A few months later, Zephan was born without any health problems.

Of course, the only thing that makes all these steps possible is being convinced of our heavenly Father's tender loving care. We can only be thankful in everything because we know he loves us. We can only truly love because he's shown us his unconditional love. And we can only commit our cares to him because we know he tenderly cares for us in every detail of our lives.

Some time after taking on the challenge of Philippians 4, I was traveling to help someone move when it suddenly struck me what a difference this Scripture passage had made in my life. I was still busy. I still had family, work, and church responsibilities. But somehow life was different—I was different. While it's happened subtly, I know now how it feels to be enveloped in God's peace—and I thank him for it.

Teresa Turner Vining, a freelance writer and speaker, lives in the Kansas City area.

I'm forever grateful....

Whew!!! What a relief!!!!

That was the thought in my mind on the 20th of November 2010 at 0100 hours....I was frantically checking my results online every 5 minutes whilst being on call and in between clerking patients......the stress and frenzy of it all was almost too much to bear....people were asking me already how I did....but the results were not out yet!!!!!

Then , at 1AM, I clicked again on the button and there it was!!!!

PASS!!!!

Thank You Lord! I really really am grateful!!!!

Looking back, it is not about how smart I am or how many patients I have seen ( I did that during my 1st preparation and I did not make it!)....this time round, I saw minimal patients and trusted God for His loving goodness, so that at the end of the day, I can not say that it was my own might or strength....but that it was by the grace of God!!!!!

What can I say at the end of the day???

GOD IS GOOD, ALL THE TIME ; and ALL THE TIME, GOD IS GOOD!!!!

Amen to that!!!

Am still in shock and disbelieve, but I am convinced that He cares more than I will ever know or comprehend!

Thank you Lord once again!