Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Little musing's in life despite the busyness and tiredness.....

It's great to be back online....being away for sooo long makes it feel so good to be back!!!

Past 2 weeks has been super busy at work.....well, that's what you get when you work in a busy unit with less than satisfactory bossess (not all, just one or two or them?!?)....and having to bear the responsbilities of other's incompetent choices at work....sigh...all in a day's work, I guess......been so zonked out everyday, not from sheer volume of work nor the speed at which things must happen, but the frustrations that one must endure at work......

Then, there's this whole new world of journal club presentations that I have been initiated into....so much preparations involved...so much journals to read and review and understand!!! Man! What a waste of time! I mean, I love reading - just not this kind of reading!!! Am just so glad that my presentation is over - which means that I am good for another 6 months before the whole cycle repeats itself again!!!

However, in the midst of it all, I realise just how human I am! How much I need friendships and love....how i survive on human connections......was just about spiralling into another bout of depression again when I caught myself hiding away from the world (am kinda still doing it again....).....amazes me how I can thrive on human interactions yet at the same time fear and run away from it.....I need to connect with people (that's the way I was made! and hence the choice of work )....yet on the other hand, the fear of rejection or ridicule forces me to run from intimate relationships/ friendships with others....what an oxymoron?!? am still learning what this means for me.....

Anyway, was glad to spend the last weekend with 2 good friends...watching Prince Caspian and Sex in the City......wasn't a great fan of the latter show but it was rather hilarious , I must say! Well, which girl wouldn't lurve to have a walk in wardrobe of that size!!!!

That aside, seriously...have been truly grateful for time spent with my brother whilst he is studying here......bonding with him...catching a movie (Made of Honour was great!) and just chatting about life in general....managed to ask him about his faith....whether he believed in God....well...his answer was 50/50.....guess that just means more prayer and time needs to be invested into his life so that it will finally be 100%! ;) That'll be my next project of the year.......... we will see......

Friday, May 23, 2008

New discovery.....after a long silence......

Whoa! It's been more than a month since my last entry.. no thanks to the lousy internet connection in Sg!! Sigh...been frustrating to be cut off the world via this necessary evil called the internet (esp Wireless!!) connection......

And yes, it's good to be back...rambling on and on about how sad my life is online!!!

well, despite the silence, life has been pretty busy...always amazes me how I hate change...and yet change seems to be routine in my life....like how every 6 months we have to change rotations......was sorely missing my old department and colleagues ( you guys know who you are!!).....not to mention my new colleagues aren't very friendly nor helpful...i guess they are learning to adapt themselves as well..... oh well....

was pleasantly surprised last week when myself , HJ and YM went for dinner after church ( coz as it was, not many frm cell were there)....and after dinner , we explored this place called HortPark (courtesy of HJ's recommendation!)....was very nice.....

It's basically a Horticulture Park along Alexandra Road......and there's this new bridge/ canopy walk all the way from Kent Ridge Park to Mt Faber - also links up to Harbourfront MRT too.... so i took the opportunity as I was off work on Vesak Day to explore the rest of the walk.....

Some really nice snapshots....




ALEXANDRA BRIDGE


Nice flowers...





Romantic...at night....if u can imagine it?!?


Sunflowers!!




Pretty lilies in a greenhouse



Even more amazing plants!






Buah noni along the walkway




Singapore skyline on the park connector to Mt Faber




The curvy Henderson Wave (bridge)



It's really quite an interesting bridge I must say....

And these all took 2.5 hours!!!
Must definitely do it all again!!

Friday, April 18, 2008

Amazed (or appalled) at fellow human beings behaviour....

What a night!!!

Was out on a social night with the rest of my colleagues last night at this place called b:one at Marriot Hotel..... place was pretty nice with some nice dancce music....

A preview of the place and a write up on www.timeout.com:

b:one
Formerly known as Bar None, the same timber and brick walls have been kept to retain the Manhattan-loft feel. Large frames on the walls display lit photos of NYC, making it seem like you are looking out onto the streets of the Big Apple. Fittingly, the drink prices are skyscraper-high too, with a simple vodka tonic costing $16. But the lead singer, Carrie of Masterplan, (almost) makes it all worthwhile with her electrifying showmanship and big voice. If you are a big-shot VIP or simply looking for some privacy, you can use the two private rooms, one of which is located on a mezzanine level. Otherwise, just plonk yourself on one of the faux-snakeskin stools that line the bar and watch the action unfold.



Anyway....was just amazed....rather appalled at my 'friends' behaviour.....amazing what alcohol intoxication can do to one's mind.....but even more surprising is how some of the females paw on the drunk males ?!? not just allowing, but actually wanting the guys to paw all over them!!

I am even more appalled at the fact that some of these people call themselves Christian.... How sad! How grievious it must be to the Holy Spirit! How it must hurt the heart of God that His children can demean themselves in this manner all in the name of fun/ part of the crowd/ desperation in trying to get themselves a boyfriend or girlfriend or spouse......

That's not to say I do not drink any alcohol or visit any bars or dance to funky music....mebbe not in the usual sense when everyone is drunk and it is just another drunken orgy.....but in the good ol' plain 'clean fun' way.... u know, the way one was at high school outing?!? yes yes...I am outdated...... and old fashion...

Indeed, it is hard to swim against the tide..... and amazingly the topic of my CG's BS this week was from Matthew 5:13- 16 about being SALT and the LIGHT of the world..... How apt! How relevant!

Sigh....

I pray for these friends....that they may see that true satisfaction and peace and love can only come from knowing Him.... and being in His presence.....everything and anything else is just but a sad, sad imitation...... a lousy substitute..... How I wish they knew this truth!

Monday, April 14, 2008

A year older - and maybe, just maybe a bit wiser!

Happy birthday to me,
Happy birthday to me,
Happy birthday to me,
Happy birthday to me!!!


Sigh...yet another year older!!!
Suddenly dawned upon me that I am OLD!!! Sigh......

Where has my life gone?!??

Though I am grateful for all the years that God has given me, there remains a niggling thought that I have yet to achieve many other milestones in life - such as being in a relationship, marriage, buying my first house/ car, etc......
feels as though I am stuck in a twilight zone of my own doing.....never to move on.... always stuck in 2nd gear?!?

Having my brother here with me doesn't make it any easier....just seems to accentuate the fact that I have aged..... yet I also know that with age comes wisdom and experience.... something that has stood me in good stead over the years whilst I was overseas........

Sometimes too much of common sense ain't good too......have had too much a cool and calm head on my shoulders....that others see me as too serious/ holier-than-thou personality.....some even said that I dun fancy guys at all (? they think I am lesbian? or maybe asexual like an amoeba?!?) ...sigh........misunderstood - that's what I am...

Oh well....whatever people's perception of me doesn't matter...as long as I know who I am in Christ....that's all that matters for eternity!

Was just going through my QT this morning....and went through one of my favourite verse in Acts:

" In Him we move and live and have our being" - Acts 17:28

How true! And for that, I am grateful for life - no matter how short/ long, how misunderstood or not....... It is good to be ALIVE!!

Maybe, just maybe - that is wisdom in itself.....

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Cell group retreat Part II

hai.....silly internet connection at my place is playing up again....hence the delay of part II!! oh well... better late than never!

29th March 2008
Drove to Mersing to pick Ej and Eiko up from the bus station.
Had lunch at Hai Soon (thanks to HJ's recommendation!) - very good bak kut teh, fishball and hand made noodles!!
This was followed by some browsing at the local produce and biscuit shop nearby...




The aroma of tau sar peah fills the air....



Then it was off to Penyabung Jetty!!!



Watch out for the cows!! and their poo!!




Penyabung Jetty!!!




One of the boats there at the jetty...


Check the kelong out!



A neighbouring kelong - can you spot Capt Jack Sparrow?!?













Snapshots of the kelong..







Now meet the 2 resident pet turtles!!!










Photos of the kelong in the evening...unfortunately no good sunset photos as it was covered by the clouds?!?


And that concludes the trip.....will try and upload more photos from the rest of my cell...... Ciao!!

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Cell group retreat 28th - 30th March 2008

well well.....its been yet another LONG while since my last entry.....

As usual, have been super busy at work...and also organising my cell group's retreat....am glad it went well...and that everyone enjoyed the 'kampung' experience in Malaysia!! hehehe.....

Have an entry in my cell's blog...but unfortunately it will give away who I am....so I guess I will just stick with the usual policy on this blog of mine - no personal photos on it!! hahaha....

But thot I would record my lil' thots along the way during this trip...in case I ever forgot these events!!!

28th March 2008
Was super stressed and tired after a loong night shift in resus...not to mention the fact that I only managed to leave work at 10 am (when i actually finish at 8 am!!!).... no thanks to some problems cropping up at the last minute, and my patient who was intubated and needed to be transferred to MICU .... sigh...

Anyway...i arrived early at Kranji MRT (as usual everyone else was late)....

Set off by bus across the Causeway... thanks goodness it wasn't a massive jam on the bus lane!! Praise God!!

However, then our 1st 'incident' happened....ms THL was 'tahan-ed' at the custom....we were all wondering what had happened...was worried for her for a while...seeing her sitting in the 'island' with the customs officers was rather shocking......thank goodness it was all just a misunderstanding.....and nothing serious happened!! hehehe....but memorable nevertheless!

We managed to cross to JB on time...collect our rented MPV...and then it was off to Kluang town. Met dad at his office to collect my Gimson sauce (!!! muahahaha!!) and also to pass him YX present and 'reward' for his good SPM results! Deb actually said that dad was good- looking!! (ahem! ahem! aren't I a testimony of his looks?!? muahahaha) anyways....

Tried to look for Kluang Rail coffee shop...unfortunately couldn't locate it...went to Old Town Coffeeshop instead...had good coffee with 'dry' mee siam and dry curry chicken noodles with kaya toast on the side..... wished i had photos here...but will need to get it from Deb....

After filling our tummies....drove off to catch the rice factory before it closed...unfortunately we over shot....so drove all the way to Kahang instead! oh well....we were late anyway......

Here's some beautiful shots at the Kahang Organic Rice Farm....




Our rented MPV - Nissan Serena






Sitting at the deck on arrival at the farm






Pretty reflections in the pond...





The obstacle course- care to try it?!?


The organic farm was really a nice and quite spot for a retreat.....to ponder the meaning of life...enjoy the simplicities of life.... and marvel at God's creation....

Take a look at these photos to get an idea of what I mean...



Pretty sunset over calm waters.....




The amazinge dragon fruit trees....




The 'heart' of the banana tree....




Clear waters rushing past...






The road that leads to nowhere....


Dinner was provided...organic rice with organic veg and fish and duck meat... of course dessert was DRAGON FRUITS!!! lots and lots of it!! hehehehe

Of course, the event preceding dinner must be told ..our ms THL was very courageous in following mr HJ over the obstacle course...esp when she can't swim! and guess what...it was all fine and dandy until she tried to cross back to the bank....slipped and fell into the pond (which wasn't very deep of course!).... and HJ went to her CAMERA's rescue!! (instead of her! hahaha)..... yes, it was an eventful day for her! ;)

Then, we had a chat with Mr. Tam , the owner of the place.....and had a long chat abt agriculture....

We had a walk out at night...very clear night and saw many many stars!!! SO PRETTY!!! Unfortunately my camera isn't designed to take pictures of the stars....just turned out 'black'..... oh well.... the guys had a good time educating us about the constellations....pretty amazing knowledge!!

ms. THL and I broke out in song - Paul Baloche's God of Wonders.... so appropriate...found the verse that THL was looking for - Psalm 147:4!!! hehehehe....

We tried to spot some flowering dragon fruit trees at night...but no avail.....

Next morning...we managed to take some nice photos of the lotus flower and the vegetable patches....





All the cute little duckies....




Nice clouds over a clear blue sky...





Long beans , anyone?




Seedlings of the vegetables...





The pretty lady's finger plant and its flower...










The amazing dragon fruit trees.... from bud to flower to fruit













Beautiful lotus flowers - courtesy of ms. THL!!


Ok, that's all for now.... part 2 at the kelong will be coming up next!!

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Bits and Pieces.....

Well......many things have happened over this period of silence....or apparent silence on my blog.... mainly sad incidences....but also instances which deserves praise and thanksgiving.... lets count the many things that have happened since...

THANKSGIVING
- must always start with praise, right?
- well, i lost my work phone on my last night shift 2 days ago...was tired and worn out after a hectic shift with at least 3 resus patients and 2 waiting for my notes in the monitored area....only to my dismay that i lost my phone in the last hour of my shift!!!
- imagine the horror...what? I have to pay SGD 400 for that silly phone!! Arrgh...
- ended my shift 2 hours later due to the sickies that needed to be sorted out...and then spend my time searching for my phone...
- with a dejected spirit and thinking that it was a lost cause, i went home after reporting it lost to the nurses and security services..
- well, told God that 'whatever will be, will be' on my way home that day....upset but not crushed... ;)
- well, God is always faithful when I am not - received a SMS from the office that they found my phone on the shredder!! PRAISE GOD!!
- so, even when things don't make sense to me...I know that God is in control...

SAD HAPPENINGS
- on the other hand...had news of 2 deaths of close and beloved friends..
- one of my previous cancer patients died recently after almost of a year battling with cancer...she was only 23 years old.....she did not know Christ....wished we had more time with her..more time and courage to speak of Jesus to her....but she is gone now....to an eternity without Christ....makes me sad thinking about what could have been....whether I had impacted her for Christ.... sigh...i can only pray for her family...that they will one day see the sovereignty of Jesus.....

- then, there's Sue....a close and dearly loved sister in Christ.....she was like my spiritual mother in OCF during my years in Melbourne....received an email from her husband , Graeme of her demise on the 8th of March...must have been real hard for him...but at least we are comforted by the fact that she is home with Jesus....

- the finality of death just hit me this week...real hard...
- What does it mean? Where does it leave those who are left behind?

Yet, i take comfort in the scriptures which says - O death, where is your sting?
Indeed, because of Christ' redemptive work on the cross, we are not afraid....because we know where and how we will be spending our eternity...what a comforting truth!